Coimbatore is truly an amazing place to be — for those people who only watch it from afar. It’s a place with a lot of cultural diversity and history, and definitely a home for many aspiring talents. But when it comes to spending your teenage here, that’s when all the hell breaks loose. I mean, look at all the hormonal and bodily changes, and especially when you are in the dilemma of whether or not you’re a human being, they give you the toughest hurdle to pass. Sit back and relax, because this post will let the world that you could have lived happier in Mordor than here; but there’s nothing you can do about it.
1. You’d have to beg to be left alone
There’s constantly a bang on the door to check on you, as though any guy going through puberty would set himself on fire accidentally. And the more you ignore, the worse it gets.
2. Wars between 12A and 12B were quite common, and honestly, the school only intervenes when there’s considerable amount of broken bones
3. Half tucked-out shirt was the only serious fashion upgrade you could muster
And the over-turned collar, collar-button undone, the sleeve-end folded up were all a thing then, and were capable of providing short-living euphoria until caught by the PE master. But, totally worth it, wasn’t it?
4. You go to serious troubles to cover-up your copy of American Pie, and you cherish it more than life itself
You are proud of your entire collection, and you just want to stare at the file for hours together. And also, it helps to know, somewhere on the other side of the planet, life awaits you, and all you have to do is dream about it.
5. When you discovered this amazing thing called Torrents, you talked about it for days together
Oh, wait for it: it was the holy grail you didn’t even know you wanted, and that’s what makes the internet revolution of 21st century so awesome. You could go to sleep with a smile knowing hours worth of data are being downloaded as you are dreaming.
6. That new scrap notification on Orkut seriously elevated your hormone level
Those were the days, huh? We didn’t know heads or tails about facebook, but hooking up on Orkut was in burning trend. Most of us used it only for stalking, but some of us had gone as far as Philippines to work in the international waters to quench our loneliness.
7. You’d have to escape your parents’ heightened smelling reflexes
“Why am I smelling smoke?”
“That’s the smell of disappointment, Mom.”
8. You spent at least half-hour in front of the mirror everyday flexing your imaginary biceps
And no, we don’t miss the opportunity to flex ’em in front of chicks.
9. You were known for your ability for giving snarky replies in lightning speed
And you’ve been in countless troubles for living up to your God-given potential, and when there’s PTA open houses, your teachers would unleash all the anger bottled up against you.
10. You’ve watched countless sunsets in school, so hungry you could eat the friend next to you
You basically live your entire life in school, but you have no complaints (you were at least with your friends).
11. Your parents naively thought unsubscribing the cable TV would magically straighten your grades
12. You had to passive-agressively deal with your parents when they call all your friends’ parents when you went missing for a couple of hours
And sometimes, you’d have to stand up for yourselves and let them know you are not a child anymore. Who were we kidding? We were half an inch away from throwing a stink bomb into neighbours’ yard.
13. You’d learnt to be oblivious to all the different kinds of exams: cycles, models, terminals, because you knew they all mean the same thing: pressure
14. Going to school meant giving up your fundamental human rights, and becoming pen-drives for storing text-book data
15. Carrying a wallet for just a two-rupee coin seemed really manly
And flipping it open to pay for the Canteen samosa made you feel like James Franco.
16. If you were in hostel, you longed to see the outside world, and you could totally gauge the feelings of Rapunzel.
And you wish you’d seen the Prison Break series four years earlier; then you’d know how to break free from the evil clutches of Mordor.
17. There was always that one beefy warden that beat the shit out of you, and left you scarred for the rest of your life (I’m talking still-having-nightmares-about-it scarred)
He’d make you run for your life, because that’s how he rolls: beating up ten-year-olds to restore his lost manliness.
18. But the simple pleasures like sneaking looks at the prettiest girl, writing obscenities on the bathroom wall, cheating in the exams with body art were quite rewarding
19. Even under such a great oppression, you fell in love with that one girl you knew you had no chance with
You wouldn’t have gone as far as creating fake Orkut profiles to stalk her, if not for your stupid mates who encouraged you, even though they knew you had no chance whatsoever.
20. And you know, even now, you’d give up anything to live that horrible life again, because you miss your friends you once walked home with every. single. day. (even Sundays)
Lemme go ball up and cry my eyes out!